Apostle Paul’s Guide to Social Media Engagement

2 Timothy 2:22-26, The Message – Run away from childish indulgence. Run after mature righteousness—faith, love, peace—joining those who are in honest and serious prayer before God. Refuse to get involved in inane discussions; they always end up in fights. God’s servant must not be argumentative, but a gentle listener and a teacher who keeps cool, working firmly but patiently with those who refuse to obey. You never know how or when God might sober them up with a change of heart and a turning to the truth, enabling them to escape the Devil’s trap, where they are caught and held captive, forced to run his errands.

                In the passage for today, Paul is coaching Timothy on how to respond to people who drag him into constant arguments about non-essential matters.  If he were alive today, I think Paul might rework these same principles into a Christian’s guide to social media.  “Inane discussions” abound there, and probably most of us who have spent any time on these online platforms have found ourselves sucked into bitter, argumentative fights with people who seem to live for such disconnected rivalry.  I can’t say that, in all the times I’ve engaged such nonsense, I’ve ever convinced my “opponents” of their error, nor have they ever convinced me of my error.  I have lost friendships in the process.  I have, on a few occasions, made an ass of myself for all to see.  Fighting on Facebook has no inkling of “mature righteousness.”  Paul obviously never addressed social media etiquette, but I feel pretty confident that he would agree with me on this. Don’t do it. Ever.

                This does not mean we should never disagree with people, on social media or in other arenas.  But we should listen to Paul’s coaching above before we do.  It’s pretty solid advice worth repeating:

“God’s servant must not be argumentative, but a gentle listener and a teacher who keeps cool, working firmly but patiently with those who refuse to obey. You never know how or when God might sober them up with a change of heart and a turning to the truth, enabling them to escape the Devil’s trap, where they are caught and held captive, forced to run his errands.”

We begin by listening with a gentle (not hardened) heart.  The idea is to listen carefully to what others are saying with the aim of understanding not just the meaning of their words, but the heart behind those words.  We remain “cool” while listening, not raising our hackles, but sincerely seeking to understand where they are coming from.  It often helps to demonstrate that we have listened by finding some way to demonstrate that we understand why they feel the way they do whenever possible. 

                Then, when we have an opportunity to respond, we do so not in an argumentative manner, but with exorbitant patience, being careful and thoughtful with our words aimed at simply elaborating why we feel the way we do.  We are not judging them or trying to convince them of anything.  We are simply seeking to be understood.  If there is to be any change of heart on their part, that will be the work of God’s Spirit, not our words.  The handful of times that I have felt like I have done this effectively, the encounter ended not with anyone changing their opinion, but with each of us having respect for how the other feels and with our relationship intact.  In a couple of occasions, the relationship was even strengthened.  One of Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”  Covey could have derived that gem from reading Paul in 2 Timothy, written two thousand years before he was born.  Nevertheless, the heart of engagement with those with whom we disagree is not winning, but understanding and respect. 

                I know this, but I’m still not very good at it.  My zeal for my opinions often pushes me over the cliff into those “inane discussions.”  But the times when I have kept understanding and respect as my rules of engagement, the results have been way closer to “mature righteousness”(righteousness means “right relationship”).  I hope to continue to get better at this. I hope you will too.

Question:  When recalling your engagements with people with whom you disagree, would you describe them in hindsight as “inane discussions” or “mature righteousness” (remembering that righteousness means “right relationship”)?

Prayer:  Lord, in a pandemic of “fractured relationships,” may we be repairers of the breech with our goal of understanding and respect.  You relate to us in that way; help us relate to each other in that way.  Amen.

Prayer Focus:  Pray for for all those who are suffering in Hawaii right now.            

Song: Imagine proclaiming this blessing to those with whom we disagree. The Blessing (Symphonic Version) – Passion City Church