Disciples Path:  Week 3 – Day 2 – The Gift of Undivided Attention

Proverbs 13:13 CEB 

Those who answer before they listen

    are foolish and disgraceful.

Many years ago, while I was still in the process of becoming an ordained minister, I was assigned to do eight sessions of with a professional counselor.  I have since found out that most candidates for ministry receive this assignment at some point in the process so that they will have had personal experience with counseling and see it as a positive resource in their future ministry.  It was a positive experience for me.

I think the biggest gift in that experience was that for those eight fifty-minute sessions, the single focus of a “trained listener” was to listen to me.  I could tell from my counselor’s responses that he had not only heard the words I said, but he had also heard what I had not said in words but was feeling in my heart. The knowledge that I had really been heard was powerful.  I don’t remember any good advice that I received, but I remember the power of someone’s complete undivided focus on me.  

Since that time, I have had that same gift given to me by many others – other pastors, friends, and family members.  But I must say, the experience is still rare.  Our attention is so often distracted or divided. Often, while others are speaking, we might be thinking about other things or we are listening just enough to figure out what we are going to say next.  When we do that, we are not fully present with the other person. 

I’m guessing you have had the experience of being on the other side of such a conversation.  Someone is physically present in the room with you, but it is clear they aren’t really WITH you.  It seems they sat there through your story just so they would have the opportunity to tell their story.  They keep looking at their phone while you are talking.  Maybe, they even interrupt you so that they can begin talking.  We’ve all been there.  It’s is pleasant. 

However, I hope you have had the opposite experience as well – one like I described with my counselor and others – the gift of someone’s full presence focused on you.   If nothing else, we have the gift of God being fully present with us that we talked about in our last reflection.  My encouragement today is that each of us have the ability to give that gift to others.   We can give our full attention to those with whom we come in contact.  When we do that, our presence becomes a blessing just as God’s presence (and the full presence of others) has been a blessing to us.

Prayer:  Spend some time thanking God for the people whose full presence with you has been a blessing.  Then, ask God to lead you to think of one person who would be blessed by your full presence.

Song: This is a song written for children, but it wonderfully expresses the gift of giving someone your full attention/presence.

 Listening With All of You – Tom Chapin