Forgiveness is Not What You Think

Romans 12:19 (CEB) — “Don’t try to get even… Instead, leave room for God’s wrath.”

Reflection
A major barrier to receiving God’s forgiveness is confusion about what forgiveness actually means. If forgiveness means pretending it didn’t matter, staying in danger, or letting people walk all over you—then of course our hearts resist it. We don’t reject forgiveness because we love bitterness; we reject it because we fear what forgiveness will cost.

Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation. Reconciliation requires truth, repentance, rebuilding trust, and sometimes time. Forgiveness can be offered from your side even when the other person never owns what they did.

Forgiveness is not an excuse or minimization of offense. It doesn’t rename evil as “no big deal.” It tells the truth about what happened—then refuses to let the offense become your life’s controlling story.

Forgiveness is also not the removal of consequences. Some relationships need boundaries. Some situations require accountability. Forgiveness doesn’t cancel wisdom; it strengthens it, because it frees you to pursue what’s right without being driven by rage.

Romans 12 doesn’t say, “Justice doesn’t matter.” It says, “Don’t make vengeance your job.” Forgiveness is the spiritual decision to stop appointing yourself as judge and executioner—and to entrust justice to God, who sees perfectly and acts rightly.

Application
Write down one sentence: “Forgiveness is not ______.” Then write: “Forgiveness is ______.” (Example: “not reconciliation; it’s releasing revenge.”)

Prayer
God of justice and mercy, teach me forgiveness that tells the truth and still sets me free.

Song“Truth Be Told” — Matthew West