The Day I Got into a Fight

Matthew 5:38-42, NRSV – “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’  But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also;  and if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give your cloak as well;  and if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile.  Give to everyone who begs from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you.

Only once that I can remember did I ever get in a fight.   I was always big for my age and so, not many people ever picked a fight with me.  But in 7^th grade, I was waiting for a bus with my science project in tow.  Benny (I made up a name, I can’t remember his real name) was teasing me about my science project.  At one point he started to pick at the project and then, he threatened to crush it.  I stood up and shouted, “you better not!”  He stepped toward me, shoved me and then taunted “what are you going to do about it!” He started to move past me towards my project.  Without thinking, I put my hands on his shoulders and shoved with all my might.  Benny fell back, tripped over his bookbag and fell to the ground.  On the ground, he looked back at me, and I could see real fear in his eyes.  I don’t remember what he said, but the fight was over.  Benny never bothered me at the bus stop again.

          I share that story because, nearly forty years later, I still have mixed feelings about it.  On one hand, there was no way I was going to let Benny destroy my science project.  My Dad and I had worked hard on it for weeks.  That was a boundary I had set and was not going to let be violated.  On the other hand, I still remember vividly seeing the fear in Benny’s eyes.  At the time, I was glad he was afraid of me.  But forty years later, I cringe.  I don’t want people to be afraid that I might hurt them, even people I don’t like. 

          In today’s passage, Jesus seems to instruct that I should have let Benny have at my science project – even offer my lunch box as well.  Here’s my problem with that.  If I had let Benny do that, I would have become Benny favorite bus stop target and more bullying behavior would have followed.  I know this because I had watched it play out with others before my altercation with him.  All of that stopped (at least at the bus stop) after our scuffle.  That was a good thing.  However, that “peace” was achieved by me actually taking Benny’s place as the one whom people feared.  That’s not a good thing in my book.  I don’t like it.

          Jesus was speaking directly to a Jewish law that permitted retribution be meted out using the principle “eye for and eye.”  It someone pokes your eye out, their eye is fair game.  This principle of law went back to Moses in Exodus.  By Jesus day, it had become a license to take vengeance.  And vengeance tends to spread more vengeance, creating an endless, usually increasing, cycle of violence and/or harm.  Jesus is trying to point out that God’s law should not be used that way, because it tears down human relationships instead of building them up. 

          But Jesus also set and advocated boundaries.  He got violent himself when he saw the poor being exploited by religious leaders in the temple, even attacking the perpetrators with whips.  It has made me want to ask of Jesus – “you can do it, but you want us to be doormats?”  But as we examine the details of what Jesus says here, we see some nuance that is not obvious at first glance.  The examples Jesus uses are not of the “eye for an eye” magnitude.  He lists the following three situations –  someone slaps you, wants to take your shirt, or forces you to walk a mile.  These are not major offenses.  No one has lost an eye.  Everyone still has all their teeth.   It is in these situations that Jesus warns us against escalation.  The “eye for an eye” law was created as a principle for judges, in a Jewish court, to measure restitution for those who were the victims of serious crimes.   Jesus is reminding his hearers that it was not created as a license to carry out vengeance for every little offense we suffer.  We should remember that when we get into squabbles with our fellow humans at bus stops, in traffic, in the course of workplace politics, and other everyday conflicts.  Escalation of these offenses can lead to people losing their eyes, teeth, or even their life.  We are, instead, supposed to be peacemakers whenever possible. 

          Was I “right” at the bus stop?  I’m still not completely sure.  Peace was achieved and further bullying was avoided.  The violence didn’t escalate.  But I know Jesus has not called me to strike fear into those who might otherwise strike fear into me.  Although the science project seemed like a big thing at the time, it doesn’t rise to the “eye for an eye” level of offense.  And even if it did, I could have appealed to a higher authority for “justice” if the project had been destroyed.  That’s how the “eye for an eye” law was supposed to work.  I took “the higher authorities” role for myself.  Furthermore, had Benny not tripped over his bookbag and skinned up his arms, the violence could have indeed been escalated.  The reality is that I still don’t have clear-cut sense of what should have happened.  But here’s the thing – I think that is Jesus’s point. The law isn’t meant to have a clear-cut answer that can be applied the same way in every circumstance.  The law represents deeper principles – like justice and peace – that God would have us respect, strive, and sometimes even struggle toward.  The struggle is real. 

          This is important to remember in a culture that is obsessed with vengeance even for the smallest of offenses and where real-live Jesus-like peacemakers are in short supply.  We strive for justice AND are champions of peace at the same time. It isn’t easy, but it’s who we are supposed to be.  If you don’t like this (and I have to admit that some days, I’m right there with you), you’re really not going to like what Jesus has to say to us next.

Question:  Is there a situation in your life right now where you could choose to de-escalate instead of seeking (or even hope for) vengeance?

Prayer:  God, the scriptures remind us that “vengeance” belongs to you alone.  We confess this is so hard sometimes and we need your help.  Help us navigate the ways of peace and justice.  Amen.

Prayer focus:  Pray for first responders today (law enforcement, fire rescue, EMT, etc)

Song:  Peace Maker – Greg Ferguson